Thoughts

Loss. I think about loss and see my father. He passed away after my 12th birthday. The last thing i said to him “i hate you” and i’ve never regretted anything more. I think about life if he took me out to supper that night. I stayed at my friends. That is something that haunts me everyday. I think how opposite my’d life be. I feel sometimes and some places I just feel like I can’t escape “i hate you” in some places I feel like im being followed by this taunting sentence that haunts me until i am not longer alive. In life I truly believe that people shouldn’t have regrets but this is one thing that i truly regret. I should have never said “i hate you”. I never hated him and I hope he knows that. my father, my first best friend, my hero, the one i ran to after mom said no. All of that gone in a blink of an eye. I took him for granted because he’s here forever right? but forever isn’t forever. everyone has to go but my father. just a kid that lost her father. at 12 i tried to kill myself.