“Denise, Denise do you hear me”

I here the beeps of a machine tracking my heart beat. The smell of hand sanitizer fills the air. A doctor hover over me holding a mask to my face, by he slowly releases it. Behind him stands Ryle, with a frightful look. Yup, I died…again.

I push the doctors away and get up from the hospital bed, overestimating my legs and tripping over myself.

The doctor pick me up, and sits me back down on the bed.

Ryle, with tears in her eyes hugs me so tightly I would have sworn she was trying to kill me again.

She’s 12 and hasn’t died once. That must be a record or something. People get revived like getting their yearly shots. It’s really not a big deal, but Ryle has never seen anybody die.

“Ryle, it’s fine, it’s just a revival. When I get out you can push me off a building. It’s big deal.”

She gasps in shock and shakes her head.

I remove all the needles from my skin and put my pants under the hospital gown.

“Well doc, if you let me out earlier I promise I won’t jump off of cliff again.”

He looks at me, then back to my sister.

“Denise, we need to talk.”

This gets Ryle scared and she blurts out, “is she ok.”

“It is fine silly” I say with a giggle. I’ll be out in a minute.

She hesitantly leaves and the doctor shuts the door ad locks it. For the first time, I’m scared of doctor Tillman.

“Look Denise. You have died thirty nine time. Thirty being on purpose.”

When death is takin out of the equation, I don’t fear anything. Jumping out of cliffs is no worse that getting a little scratch. But I guess…I do it because I want my parents attention. Although that I would never admit out loud.

“Denise, the government has chosen you for selective pickings.”

“No!” I cry out. “I’m only sixteen I have two years before I’m eligible.”

“They are qualifying you as an adult for the amount of time you died!” He screams. “Since you were eleven I have warned you that rare cases like these happen when kids die to many time. There’s nothing I can do Denise.”

Tomorrow I will be killed for good. And if I’m not, I’ll be sent of to labor camps.

The rest of the day is a blur. I tell my parents and they respond with a simple, “don’t blame us for your mess.”

Ryle however cried for hours. Suggested we run away. When my parents went to bed, and Ryle cried herself to sleep, I grab a flashlight and leave. Before I exit I leave a note for Ryle on her chair. I write about how I’m sorry. How I wish I didn’t do those mistakes. And how she can’t follow my footsteps. I also said I loved her, and she would forever be my little sister. I said words our parents would never say to us.

I walk to the edge of the cliff and get ready to jump. If I die, I die on my own terms.

I bend my knees ready to leap. “3…2…1” I whisper, but before I can jump I hear a whisper in the bush.

I look around with my flashlight, terrified my parents noticed I was gone.

“Over here” voice says.

I point my flash light at them and see a dark haired boy, covered with dirt and twigs.

“Come with me.“

With nothing at stake, I do, and that was the best choice of my life. Because now, I live in a world where I embrace my death.