“Nǎi Nai?”

Bell’s grandmother ceases her rhythmic chopping of the vegetable she has on the wooden board. She still doesn’t know the name of that vegetable.

“Yes, child?” She asks, giving Bell her full attention.

It warms her soul. Nǎi Nai always makes her feel like what she says matters. It’s why she visited her home in hopes to talk to her now.

“Did you like Mom when you met her?” Bell sputters out. The time she spent so long on figuring out what she wants to ask goes out the window. This situation with her mom, Dad and her biological father makes her head freaking spin. It tends to cause words to come out before she wants them to.

Her grandmother doesn’t appear phased by the inquiry. Setting the knife down, she comes to sit next to Bell at the dining table.

“Does this involve the discussion your mother initiated?”

Wren had come clean to everyone in both her and Hai’s family three days ago. She sat down with each side and told them what she did. Some took it badly. Like Bell’s uncle, her dad’s brother, did not appreciate the manipulation. He’s not on speaking terms with Wren.

But Bell couldn’t get an immediate read off of her grandmother when she arrived at her house. She thought once she saw her that it would be obvious how she felt about her mom. She’s as diplomatic as ever.

Bell never could hide anything from her grandmother, so she decides to just be honest. “Yes.”

Taking her fidgeting hands in her own, more worn and weathered ones, she makes Bell feel at home just from that. “When Hai brought her home, I was thrilled. Wren was the picture perfect girl that every Chinese mother would want their son to bring home. She was whip smart, kind, and ambitious. But above all else, she loved my son.”

She spoke with so much assurance. Like she knew that for certain. Bell wonders how she can do that when her mother lied and manipulated them all for so long. Nǎi Nai being one of her longest running victims.

“You still believe that?” Bell questions.

She finds herself asking this all the time. How does one know what to believe? How can anyone be certain of their thoughts after finding out something like this.

Every fiber of her being wants to believe her mother. As long as Wren didn’t further warp her memories, Bell had a happy childhood which includes her mother. It would hurt her soul to just throw that all away. To think it was all a lie. Fabricated in some way.

“I do. Your mother does not have the best decision making skills, but I do not doubt her love,” her grandmother answers.

Nǎi Nai doesn’t exaggerate or circle around the truth. She says it like it is.

Sometimes being brutally honest is not the best thing, but Bell craves it. She needs it.

“Even if the universe wants her with someone else?” She says in a small voice. If Bell didn’t know it was herself speaking, she would have mistaken the tone for a child.

Squeezing her hands, her grandmother’s bony fingers tighten briefly, easing an internal struggle inside of Bell. “The universe may give people a path to go down. But it is up to the person to walk it or make their own.”

Those wise words ring in her ears. It reminds her of Cross.

They didn’t know they were soulmates before. Even with living her life soulmateless, she knows it would’ve still involved Cross. So in her Nǎi Nai’s advice, Bell was lost on her path, but she chose to get back on it. Which led to Cross.

“You think she and Dad will stay together?” She apparently can only ask questions now.

Her grandmother doesn’t appear to mind and answers every one of her inquiries with vigor. Like her curiosity/confusion isn’t an imposition. Which is refreshing. It’s like her family is dancing elaborate moves just to avoid talking about it.

That just speaking about it in a good moment would burst the bubble and then they would all be upset.

“I cannot say for sure, and I do not wish to sway you.”

“I don’t know what I want to happen anymore,” Bell confesses, laying out her conflicting and confusing feelings metaphorically on the table. Her friends are great, but they didn’t know her parents like her Nǎi Nai.

“Well, I think your parents have a lot to discuss. I believe Wren is learning from her mistakes.”

“So you don’t doubt Mom’s love for Dad, but you aren’t sure if they’ll stay together?” Bell asks yet another question. How does that make sense?

If her mom truly loves her dad, then eventually they might work it out…right?

Bell guesses it isn’t that clear cut. As much as her brain wants her to believe. Maybe that’s a coping mechanism to protect her.

Removing one of her hands where all four pairs are clasped together, she lifts it to Bell’s cheek, stroking the skin with her thumb. Leaning into her touch, she gives a half smile, relishing in her grandmother’s soothing presence. “Sometimes, my child, love is not enough. I hope it is.”

She pauses, showing a sign of hesitation, uncertainty, for the first time in the conversation and perhaps Bell’s whole life. “No matter what decision they come to, they will include you and your sister into it. That I am sure.”

Her grandmother wraps her in a giant hug, giving her comfort that she hasn’t felt from a family member since her sister offered her assistance when they found out the full truth.

“Thank you, Nǎi Nai.”

In the crook of her arm, finally, in what felt like the first time since she found everything out, she lets tears fall. They travel a smooth path down her cheeks to her chin, framing her face.

Bell felt an unexpected peace in her emotions, allowing herself to just feel all of it.

———

(In case you couldn’t tell, Nǎi Nai is a Mandarin Chinese term for someone’s paternal grandmother.

Also I am wishing everyone a good 2025!)