So, I have this friend named Kyle. And everybody said that I was making him up because I said he had nine arms and was a thousand years old and that he didn’t want to come to school with me because he’s shy about not being able to read. But then, three of the big kids were like making fun of and they were like “Jimmy wets the bed.” But, I don’t. I don’t wet the bed. I havent wet the bed since like third grade and my mom says that’s normal so clearly these big kids are idiots. But then they were like “ Jimmy still plays with imaginary friends.” And i was like “No, i’m eleven! I’m too old to have imaginary friends.” And the big kids said “Then where’s Kyle.” And then the coolest thing happened!

Kyle, at the uttering of his name, was awoken from his nine day slumber underneatg my dads Ford focus. And he made himself like 11 feet tall, i swear. And then he picked up the bullies and threw them into the sun.

No, mom, i’m not lying. That’s why the principal tried to call you. But the big kids were fine. They got back from the sun a little bit tan so you dont need to call their parents or anything.