Sometimes the only way to really forget everything is to go to sleep.

That’s when I dream of her. She’s alive and laughing, she’s hugging me tightly, she’s smiling, she’s _breathing_. My dream world is a place where I walk into school on that October day and see her smiling at me and waiting to go to class together, replacing the memory of me going to school that day in a hoodie with the sleeve soaked in hot, salty tears. My dream world is a place when I can finally tell her how I really feel about her. In real life something told me it would never work out, two best friends, so I never said a thing. But now I can finally have that second chance I’ve been dreaming off.

But when I awake, she’s gone. No more laughing, no more hugging, no more talking,

_No more breathing…_

__

I sometimes wonder what was going through her mind at those last moments on the side of the road. Was she in pain? Was she thinking of me? Did she go quickly? Was she sad about not getting to say goodbye? Small things keep her here in reality. Cardboard reminds me of her because of that project in fifth grade. I pray everyday to see her again, but praying and keeping her memory alive won’t bring her back so I’ll just go to my dream world and hopefully stay there forever in her arms.