She’s not who she says she is,

That’s what you’d all say,

If I had the courage to tell you,

What it is I need to say.

To tell you that she is dead,

She is gone,

She is no more.

Behind her eyes she cried a million times,

Prayed to all the gods to give her some signs,

So quiet and meek,

She’d take her life,

Just for you to say she ain’t who she says she is.

Because you see, she isn’t she at all,

She served me for a time,

But felt too wrong inside,

I hear your outrage,

I fear your response,

To know that I have always been me.

You’ll sit there and see my empty chair,

Feel guilt consume your soul,

The eulogy will say

“She wasn’t who she said she was,

Natalie was born, and that’s how she died”

You’ll mourn someone I never was.

You’ll sit there and misgender me,

Call me She and Her,

Then have the audacity to call me a liar,

The truth I spoke,

You didn’t want to hear.

So I’m not who you say I am,

I am reborn,

A lease of life I never had,

He and They suit me just fine.

I changed my name and cut my hair,

Each day I heal a little more.

So drop my deadname,

Drop the act,

Leave your tears for your pity party,

Just know I’m stronger than ever,

She’s not who she says she is,

Because she never was,

I shielded behind your lies,

To my own detriment,

But this is my own sacrament,

I was never the girl you had.