Step 4 says to make a fearless moral inventory,

To clean all our resentments off the shelf.

But what’s a girl to do when the biggest resentment in her heart,

Is the one that she still holds against herself?

Step 8 says to make a list of persons we have harmed,

“Make direct amends,” as per step 9,

I’ve followed these instructions, and forgiveness I’ve received,

From every heart I’ve hurt… aside for mine

Each morning brings a fight against the shadows of my past,

Their whispers haunt the corners of my mind.

I search for peace, yet find it fleeting like a morning breeze,

The scars within are deep and intertwined.

I walk among the ones I love with smiles and open arms,

They've pardoned me with grace and tender care.

Yet, I still face the ghosts of all my missteps and my sins,

I’m haunted by the burdens I still bear.

In nights of solitude, I wrestle with my inner pain,

A battle waged in silence, dark and long.

Their voices say I’m worthy, that my slate is clean and pure,

But I can’t shake the weight of all my wrongs.

The hardest part of healing is to truly let it go,

To see myself with kindness and with light.

To break the chains of guilt that hold my spirit tightly bound,

And trust in God to guide me through the night.

So here I stand, a soldier in a war against myself,

With hope that one day soon I'll find the key.

To open up my heart and let forgiveness gently flow,

And finally set my weary spirit free.