“Hurry up, Xyle!” shouts Darlene.

“Don’t rush me. I’m being as careful as I can,” the purple alien retorts, “you know how fickle humans can be.” He keeps sewing at the man’s forehead. Thank Jupiter they brought the first aid kit.

Darlene and Xyle didn’t have many expectations for their first date, but they certainly didn’t expect to accidentally hit an astronaut with their space car. The penalty for having an illegal human in your possession is 1,000 Starcoins, and neither of them want to pay that.

“Dammit Xyle, why is he still unconscious?” Darlene is getting restless now, running all six of her fingers through her tentacles, getting everything tangled together.

“Didn’t you pay attention in Universal Anatomy class?” Xyle lifts one of his heads to face Darlene, “wait, I think he’s coming to!”

The astronaut sits up.

“You promise you’re not mad?” Darlene asks tearfully.

“Yeah. Just very... confused,” he looks around the strange environment, “my name’s Dan, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you,” the aliens mutter awkwardly.

“Thanks for stitching up my head,” says Dan, “my buddies aren’t gonna believe this. And to think I was pissed about being the one to have to go do jet engine maintenance tonight!” Dan laughs at himself and Xyle and Darlene chuckle too. They don’t know what a jet engine is.

“What’s earth like?” Xyle is overeager.

“Meh. It’s kinda dead,” shrugs Dan.

“But you have so many beings on your planet!” Darlene exclaims, “surely it’s well-maintained?”

“Humans suck,” says Dan, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the galaxy. Which it is. Everyone knows that. “Can you guys take me back to the space station now?”