Jason was always a big talker. One time, he talked at a work meeting for so long that his boss fell asleep. That being said, he was always able to stay uncontroversial with what he was saying, making sure that everybody in the room was happy, albeit bored. On this special occasion, Jason was the best man at his best friend Adam's wedding. At the reception table, Jason sat next to Adam and was having the time of his life chatting with him.

“And then he picked him up and said ‘Now I am the fish, captain!’,” Jason declared. 

Adam laughed “Man, Jason, I can’t believe that I got married before you did. You have to get on that!”

The rest of the table cheered.

Without missing a beat, Jason said “Honestly, I’m surprised you ended up marrying Jen in the first place.”

The table faltered for a moment, but nobody left from their conversation.

“Uh, Jason, what are you talking about, man?”

“Oh, I was just saying that you always preferred her sister. I kinda had a thing for Jen, you know?”

At this point the whole table is silent. Jen, the bride, stood up at the opposite end of the table and cleared her throat. She glares daggers at Jason, then looks back over at Adam, smiling. “Sweetheart,” she coated her words with toxin, “Can we talk for a second?” Adam gets up immediately, walking away from the table with Jen. Mary, Jen’s sister, blushes and starts gulping down her champagne glass. “Hey, waiter! Waiter, could I get another glass please? Thank you.”

While the rest of the table eats in silence, Jason is just flummoxed. “What did I say?” he asks himself. “I was just joking.” Jason starts to fidget with his silverware, thinking of what to say in this moment. This may have been the longest he has ever thought about anything he has said, especially at an important social gathering. He ponders all of the different possibilities, using his social acumen to sharpen his conversational blade so that he may cut his way out of this situation. Jason, still not finished gathering his thoughts, stands up without realizing it.

“I mean, Mary, you’re also really hot. I’m just saying.”

The table gasps. The waiter comes back with a wine bottle and starts to pour Mary a glass before she pries the bottle out of his hands. “I need this more than you. Thanks, Adam is paying for it.” She starts to drink directly from the bottle. A well wishing bridesmaid, Kathy, stands up, trying to remedy the situation. “Nice one, Jason. You really got us.” Some of the table catches on, fake laughing to try and play it off. Almost the entirety of the table joins in, with smatterings of genuine laughter throughout the assembly. 

Jason slams his hands on the table as if on autopilot. He blurts out, thoughtlessly, “I wasn’t joking. That’s real and the most genuine thing I have ever said. Period.” Kathy, as if saying “Good luck Chuck.” sits down abruptly, pushing her plate away from her. Adam comes back to the table and pats Jason on the shoulder. “Hey, Jason, could I talk to you for a second?”

Jason stands his ground, glowering at the groom.

“No, Adam, we can’t talk for a second. Everyone seems to think that I was joking, but really, I was serious. You know how much I talk. You think I have time to waste my breath like this? I’m not leaving until everyone admits that I wasn’t joking.”

“You were joking, Jason. Let’s put this all behind us, okay?”

Jason picks up his glass and spikes it into the ground. “I was _not _joking!”

Adam, seething with a quiet fury, tightens his grip. “Let it go, Jason.”

“No, Adam.”

In one swift and smooth motion, Adam picks Jason up like he’s Scooby from Scooby-Doo and throws him at least ten feet directly into the wedding cake.