When someone you love is taken away so suddenly, you try to remember every last beautiful detail of who they were.

I close my eyes to breath and calmly try to hold back my tears.

What I think of first; her laugh. God, that ridiculous laugh. When she thought something was absolutely hilarious, she would start her laugh off with a guttural “Huh-“ and end it with a witch cackle like nails on a chalk board. Anytime we went to a restaurant, we always got stared at. But I didn’t mind. I still smile every time I remember it.

The second thing, and one of my favorites, was the sound of her voice when we would lie next to each other in bed. Like a scratchy wooden board, but the grit of it would always fade the more she spoke up. Her normal speaking voice was like a song. Her pitch would float all over the place like a rollercoaster. Like a ride I never wanted to get off of.

But finally, how she looked, I never want that to fade away from me. Her chocolate hair was always kept to a mid length bob with short curtain bangs that felt as soft as kitten fur. Her skin was olive was freckled everywhere, and a single touch of her hand reminded me of holding a silk goose feather pillow.

She loved to wear grandpa sweaters from thrift shops. Her favorite one was a navy woven 6 button sweater pattered with golf balls and driving clubs. It was bumpy to the touch and slowly unraveling at the bottom, but she never cared because it made her feel confident and safe.

I start feeling the tears rolling down my face. I still can’t believe she’s gone. She was obnoxious, caring, charming, and absolutely one of a kind.

God, I love her and I miss her every day.

Emily, Rest In Peace.