The grains of sand clung to her feet, specks stuck to her face due to the shiny layer of sweat that had built up from the walk. She had paused, watching them afar. Nervous. It was the first time in a year since she had seen them, the people she, once upon a time, spent every day with. Only they had been driven apart by life. By loss, Delphine thought bitterly. She resumed her walk, the sound of the ocean filled her with a type of joy she hadn’t allowed herself to feel for a while. Delphine had moved away, moved away from the community she had grown with - away from the memories. ‘Phi, over here!’ There’s a voice she had missed. Bonnie. Bo. Her mind flashed to the tanned hand holding her own with music playing, music that felt like a knife in her chest. ‘We thought you’d never make it. How was the journey? Not still travel sick are you?’ Will chuckled but Delphine eyed him, a sick feeling in her stomach as more memories streamed like a DVD in her head. ‘Sorry Del, you doing alright?’ Another question. Was she? It had been a year. She nodded anyway, knowing they were all waiting on an answer. ‘We were just talking about how much money you actually spent on those McDonalds wraps. You know the ones, them chicken ones Jo used persuade you to get,’ Now look. Delphine knew this was coming. Knew the inevitable journey down memory lane was on its way. She just didn’t expect the pain to be a dull ache, and not the usual blinding pain in her heart. She let herself smile. She looked at them all. Bonnie, Will, Mira and Lucy. She had missed them. All bonded from college. From loss, Delphine flinched at the thought and forced herself to listen to the conversation in front of her. Carefully, she sat down on the free towel that had been spread out alongside everyone else’s. ‘Remember when Mira had been mid rehearsal, what was it for? You know what I mean. The one for the primary school. When she had tripped and was so close to falling off stage when-‘ Will was cut off by a slap on the back, worried eyes glancing towards Delphine. She smiled a reassuring one, never did she want to become one of those people everybody walked on egg shells around. She had loved, she had lost. That was all. ‘When Jo grabbed her so quick, it was almost like a life saving moment from that firehouse show we used to watch?’ Delphine finished her sentence with a crack in her voice, she could smile but her voice betrayed her. Of course it hurt. It hurt so bad she thought she would never breathe easy again. ‘It’s all good man, she was a huge part of us. We can speak about her. She’d want it, she would love the attention,’ With a forced laugh, she looked up from the piece of thread she had pulled from her knitted jumper and started fidgeting with it. ‘When she,’ Mira paused, laughing as her deep brown eyes shone with joy and her hands covering her mouth as she usually did when laughed. ‘When she thought no oil went into the pan whilst cooking bacon and came back with some charred creature between two slices of bread and then called it a bacon sandwich!’ She wheezed and wiped away tears building in her eyes, Delphine let out a laugh as they all pictured Jo’s wide eyes looking between her friends and the sandwich - wondering what had gone wrong. She was like that. Doing things her own way, never letting anybody get in the way when she had set her mind onto something. Including making bacon sandwiches. She would mumble ‘Well we didn’t do it this way in Canada’ and cross her arms with a stubborn frown. Then she would look at Delphine, her hazel eyes would soften and she would crack a smile only reserved for her. Jo was hers. And she was Jo’s. They had lived together. Grown together. Until the day that she received the message. Delphine looked away from the group as her eyes became wet. She missed her more than anything. ‘Good times, college. We hated it at first but man we had some good times. The photographs that were taken during our rehearsals, Phi you couldn't even look me in the eye without laughing!' Lucy laughed and put her hand on Delphines shoulder. Will sighed, and his eyes shone as he ran his fingers through his short curly hair. ‘I miss college, being young. I miss Jo,’ His voice broke on her name, so quiet that it was a miracle they heard, and Delphine felt her heart cry out. It cried for its other half. It cried every hour she was awake. And her subconscious stepped in whilst she was asleep, creating false images of her dancing and assuring Delphine she was okay. She raised her hand and cupped his cheek gently, nodding in agreement. She did too. ‘She’s still here mate, she’s in the way we laugh and the way the rain falls just as she liked,’ Bonnie whispered. Phi remembered Jo dragging her outside college just to kiss her in the rain. The thing is, Delphine loved college. She loved learning her lines, acting on stage and making eye contact with her little sister who watched with pride. Jo lost her fight. Lost her fight with the mean voices in her head that no matter how hard Delphine fought with them - ultimately they had won long before she realised. She looked around at her friends. All laughing, all damaged with the traumatic loss but all carrying on. Just as she. She buried her feet in the sand, looked out to the ocean and let out the breath she had been holding for a year, since she had lost Jo. Maybe it would be okay.