I can tell it’s nearly time. Autumn is nearly upon us; the leaves are turning into a charming array of gold, bronze and sepia’s. There’s a slight nip in the afternoon air, but the sun is still comfortably warming.

But as lovely as this season is I know a holiday is looming. I can’t help it, I’m a homebody and I like my comforts, routine, structure. I just don’t enjoy going away these days and I’m hardly what one calls an adventurist - not anymore anyway. Call me dull but I’m starting to feel old.

I did a double take as we approached the Boston Lodge reception. Sure enough this place is rather grand; the grounds, upon inspection, are vast, stunning and pleasurable for exercise. Exercise is the one thing I take seriously every day. I love it. I’m obsessed.

But I swear I’ve just seen Bob. I can almost smell him! Me and Bob didn’t get on from the first time we met nine years ago. It was a mutual dislike. As always he finds it highly amusing to invade my personal space! Bob always has that annoying twinkle in his eye, knowing perfectly well how to push my buttons. To be fair he is brilliant at it. It’s his skill.

I think Bob gets disgruntled because he is small. And I let him know about it. Ha ha. That said I know he despises me as much as I him, but I don’t honestly care.

No way! Jack has just gotten out of his car! I just saw the old, vintage blue Volvo pull up and I’d know it anywhere because it used to be mine. Jack and I got off to quite a promising start when we were first introduced, until I found out, that is, he wasn’t very loyal bar a few individuals in his life. You see in my opinion Jack is a bit of a user; likes you one minute until something more interesting comes along - like my ex, Trudy.

I’ve never forgiven him. Or her. Just three years ago I had spied them getting way too intimate in my local park. I was so sure they had seen me running on my usual route?

Jack admittedly tried to apologise to me shortly after the incident, but my heart was too crushed. For three full days. A month after that Trudy apparently moved away and for some weird reason I missed her terribly.

Anyway Jack has given up on working out our friendship, saying he didn’t understand my unforgiving attitude. You see I hold grudges well and it’s easy for me so that’s just too bad for Jack.

So what in the hell have I done to deserve to be in the space of yet another displeasing character? The funny thing is we’ve all admitted to disliking the other to our mutual friend, Charlie. Don’t ask me why Bob and Jack have an aversion for each other?Charlie doesn’t like to gossip (which is why I like Charlie in the first place) and I don’t like to pry….much.

So a holiday with these two nearby. Just great. Suddenly…..

“Bob!”

“Jack!”

“Rover!…..Walkies!”

With that I bound off into the nearest field. I do love my exercise after all!