STORY STARTER
A surprising secret.
Introduce a character who seems inconspicuous, but has a surprising secret. Try to think in detail about their life, and why they have this secret.
Quiet she seems
She’s got smears of lipstick from mouth to cheek
A mystery
Brings men to their knees
Smells of daisies and lavender
Hair dances with the breeze
Innocent and sinful
Everything in between
Wears leather and lace
She’s every mans dream
Actually it says smeared from mouth to cheek to evoke the vision of a somewhat playful sexual experience, I don’t think your description above regarding the joker would be a popular visual amongst other readers. As for the other criticism I understand what you mean and made changes accordingly.
Paints a vivid picture of this woman. I would have a re-think about the lipstick comment as this conjures images of Heath Ledger’s joker; you wouldn’t have lipstick going up to your cheek. Also would put a “Not” in front of innocent as it currently says she is innocent but not sinful, when you then go on to say she is in between
