“Dude, you have to check this out. This is so gnarly.” Alex summoned the attention of his best friend of a couple of decades, Ken. “This here may be the most epic of antiquing hauls in the history of anything.”

Ken pried himself away from his vintage television, with its curved screen and massive wood paneled frame. The picture was grainy and a little washed out, but he didn’t care. There was something timeless about it.

Of course getting something to watch on the old beast of a picture box was a bit of a pain thanks to the whole takeover of the digital era, but Alex had supplied a similarly vintage video cassette player.

They had a solid collection of movies, like their usual favorites “Rocky IV” and “Last Action Hero”. And with their usual trips to local rummage sales, flea markets, and antique shops, their collection grew weekly. The only real issue was having enough time to enjoy their finds between working shifts at the Safeway and making gummy worm runs to the nearby 7-11.

“Alright, so like, do a drumroll or something.” Alex made a request to Ken. “This is most deserving of an entrance filled with much righteous grandeur.”

Ken played along and drummed with his fingers on the coffee table.

“Most excellent. Ok, so here it is.” He brought a paper bag up onto the coffee table and pulled out an old telephone. “Pretty cool, right? Like this has to be from the mid 70s or something. Check out that shiny brown-orange paint job. Someone probably made plans to see a Bee Gees concert on it or complained about the taste of New Coke.”

Alex continued to show off the find. “Look, it’s got the whole numbery wheely deal. Absolutely classic. And it apparently makes a most heinous ringing sound, like there’s bells in it. Oh and we’ve got to plug it in the wall. It’s wired, my friend. Wired.”

Ken reached over and grabbed the phone’s cord and looked around for some place in the wall that could be appropriate for such a device. After a few minutes of searching, he found something that wasn’t a light switch, power outlet, or coaxial plug. It was old and dusty, but the phone plugged right in.

“There we go. Now all we have to do is wait for someone to call us.” Said Alex triumphantly. “Perhaps, it could even be a total ba—.”

They were quickly interrupted by the loud ring of the old phone.

“Uh, so, well alright. Looks like they are wasting no time trying to make contact. Let’s see who awaits us on the other end. Would you like to do the honors, my friend?” Alex waved his hand over the phone much like a Price Is Right cast member would show off a brand new Skidoo.

Ken picked up the phone and before he could say a word, a loud voice began to echo out of the other end. It said something about not getting any respect.

Alex reached over to the phone to get more information about the caller.

He said his name was Rodney and that he was trying to see if his suit jacket was done being dry cleaned. Apparently he needed it for a big show.

“Uh, I’m sorry, I think you may have the wrong number.”

The caller quickly hung up.

“Dude, Ken, that guy totally sounded like Rodney Dangerfield. It was most spot on. But that guy died like fifteen years ago or something. Most perplexing indeed.”

A minute later, the phone rang again.

This time Alex answered. It was a really convincing Andrew Dice Clay impersonator on the other end, also asking about his dry cleaning. He was not pleased when he found out he had the wrong number.

Throughout it the the evening, the phone rang with people doing very convincing impressions of famous people from the early to mid 80s. They all wanted to know about their dry cleaning.

Eventually Alex unplugged the phone, the ringing becoming so frequent that he couldn’t even hear himself think. A mysterious calm echoed across the apartment, as if a hurricane of ambiguous chaos had swept through and left a feeling of confusing unease in its wake.

Ken perked up, he had something to say.

“Yo Alex, like what if this whole phone is like a gateway or something to another time. Like our phone number, isn’t our phone number, but one for a dry cleaner in like 1983 or something. Crazy right? So when we plug this thing in, we have a direct connection to the past.”

Alex leapt up and held out his right palm. “High five, my good buddy, we totally found something that is truly most vintage.”