VISUAL PROMPT
by Ricarda Wegmann @ deviantart.com/yumenoki
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Write a children's story inspired by this image. Think about the language and themes used for younger audiences (you can add a hidden adult theme if you like!)
VISUAL PROMPT
by Ricarda Wegmann @ deviantart.com/yumenoki
Write a children's story inspired by this image. Think about the language and themes used for younger audiences (you can add a hidden adult theme if you like!)
Ha ok I really like this story I love the main character and Benny oh my goodness I saw that coming; I knew he was going to get stung when he mentioned wanting to squeeze a jellyfish. Jellyfish tend to sting.
I really liked the purposeful miswording like the line “I think they have cartridges” loved that.
I noticed a spot that sounded weird the 9th line “we’ve been planning this class trip since two month now” maybe there’s a pause (punctuation) that can be mentioned somehow; so it reads like they can’t remember what month but suddenly recalls “two months now”. But it could just be grammar of an excited child.
Also reading it a couple times the line where Benny screams looks like it’s apart of the previous sentence and is a bit confusing.
The flow overall was great I could picture kids rounding up into their groups and talking about what exhibits they want to see then arriving at the creatures mesmerized.
Was the main character talking to their field trip buddy? That’s what I assumed just curious not a complaint or anything. Great story.