Long ago in a distant place
Layers of space and time before now,
Lived an old woman
Legs shortened by her years,
Longing for her companion
Lonely, in want of her love
Layers of age burying the soul
Lost eyes that are tired of it all
Looking for him
Loving him, still
Later on, after we are gone,
Lengths and depths explored,
Leftovers from our time, only memories
Lovely, isn’t it?
I like it.
A constraint for a poem is limiting, but fun to investigate. The power of a poem is the invocation of feeling to others. Emily Dickinson’s “I’m nobody. Who are you?”
Which begs the question, is the final line meant serious or sarcastic, jokingly maybe? The way it is, I’d guess seriously. But initially, I said it to myself sarcastically, as it is then a rhetorical question, not requiring an answer.
Part of the feedback is to remember when you question in your poem, you invite the reader in to answer the question however they wish. It might not have the effect you are looking to give on the page if that’s not what you are thinking.