“Mommy, what is cancer?” Isabella whispers to her mother. With tears in her eyes, Jane looks at Isabella’s heart-shaped face , so full of confusion. She does not know how to answer her sweet little 4 year old. The father of her child, her husband, had passed at away that morning at the tender age of 37.

Their story reminds me of the day I received the same news about my own father. My father, whom I loved so dearly.

It has been 24 years since that day. I do not remember much, just my mother and sisters sobbing with tears running down their faces. I touched my face not realizing I was crying, too.

My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the age 50. At that time, I did not know what that had meant. I was 9. My father was a strong man. I watched my father grow tired, weary and thinner for 2 years. At the end of his life he was so fragile that I was scared to break him just by touching. I still miss him so.

I remember the last Christmas break we had together. Something happened, that is engraved forever in my heart.

My parents had a very complicated relationship before the cancer. I would wake up at nights to the sound of them fighting and breaking dishes. I guess that is the reason why I remember New’s Years Eve 2000 so clearly. It was so quiet, my little sister who was 4 was asleep and my older sisters had gone to a party. My mother and I placed 2 chairs in front of the living room window. I asked my mum “what are we doing”. “Dad wants to see the fireworks”, she replied. “I will get him as soon as they start”.

At the stroke of midnight, there was a bang and beautiful hues of red, green, and blue lighted up the sky. My mother rushed to the bedroom and came out clutching my father by her side. They sat down on the two chairs in front of the window, while I slumped down on the sofa behind them. My father sat looking out the window, the colours of the fireworks reflecting on his glassy brown eyes. My Mother picked up his very thin hand and started stroking it lovingly. I heard her whisper, “I am glad you made this far”, then kissed his hand. I never saw my mom show that much love towards my father until that night. Sad, really, when you think of it.

19 days later, my father died and nothing has been the same. It has been 20 years and my mother still grieves.

I just hope for Jane and Isabella they will have more memories, like the one I have of New Year’s Eve 2000. Forever engraved on their hearts.