I messed up again last night. I drank too much, chased that feeling a little too far. Couldn’t tell you where it went from good to bad. It should have been a simple night together where we watched an old movie and went to bed. I should have gone to work today. A lot of things should have happened.

I remember bits and pieces, like wondering why he doesn’t just know by now, how we got to be so bad at talking to each other after all these years, why it’s getting harder when it should be getting easier.

I remember grabbing another beer.

I remember him escaping to smoke a cigarette, me yelling through the screen door, feeling hopeless, knowing there was no coming back from this tonight. Heading to bed alone. Might as well grab another beer on my way there.