I know I haven’t seen you before,
Yet you seem like destiny.
Your eyes like honey
Feel like home
Yet I’ve never slipped through that doorway.
Maybe we met in a dream
Your smile feels like fantasy.
I wonder what time will tell
If its deja vu
Or the universe
Making sure I
Make the first move.
This isn’t something scary
But something soft
Something right.
I can’t wait to meet
You.
I liked this poem. Especially the line “I wonder what time will tell, if it’s deja vu, or the universe making sure I make the first move”. I think that really carries a lot of power to it!
I was a little confused by the eyes like honey metaphor. Were they sweet? Or sticky? Both could have been powerful, particularly sticky, and the idea of not being able to take your eyes off somebody.
It’s hard to comment on voice. It reads well and I enjoyed the concept. Structure-wise, I may have broken it into a few separate stanzas to make it a tad easier to read. It’s not a long poem, though, so that’s not totally necessary. As far as I can tell, spelling and grammar was fine!
Keep it up, K. Alden Willows! I look forward to seeing more of your writing :)
