She’s changed.

Not in a “it’s because we grew up” way but in a bad way.

She gets angry more, distant.

She used to be energetic, always listening to everyone’s problems, giving good advice, playing Cupid.

So when did she change?

She walks together with me as if nothing ever changed but it’s weird, everything’s weird. She smiles but it never reaches her eyes, she says mean things about the people who make her mad and it’s weird. She’s not okay, I know she’s not.

There’s just something weird about the way she speaks? It feels like she’s switching from personality to personality, like she doesn’t want to be here. It’s eerie, I’ve known her for six years and she’s never acted like this.

It’s as if once this school year started, a flip was turned off. She always looks like she’s in another word, pretending to care about conversations when really she doesn’t look like she wants to be here. She stopped wearing her usual flashy and interacting clothes, now she just slaps on a hoodie and calls it a day.

She doesn’t talk to anyone personally, not really. The only way I can get a glimpse of her feelings is when she texts me how she’s feeling, but I know she isn’t telling me everything. She never did.

She sends me these messages and they get me so concerned, she doesn’t say anything suicidal but I just get this feeling that she’s going to disappear out of my grasp one day, I don’t like it.

I hate feeling like this, her emotions—they are heavy. I want to help her carry them but It’s too heavy for me too even try, I don’t know if I like this version of her.

I would say I don’t like this new version of her, but really? I don’t think I ever even knew her.