How do I begin to describe my feelings for you

I do not know what is real and what is right when I think of you

Am I a fool, to throw away the closet I’ve gotten to love, you

Or am I wise, to avoid a snake in disguise: you

During possibly the worst times in my life I met you

Or perhaps the best, I can’t recall, I felt I was finally happy when I met you

During my psychosis, and euphoric states I thought of you

I don’t remember what I did, that drove me further away from you

Except being the obvious, out of control, manic idiot that probably embarrassed you

Will you ever forgive me? Will I ever forgive you?

The future is uncertain, and I can’t tell if I want you

Or perhaps the idea of you

Whatever it is, I can’t shake the feeling I lost out on you

For some reason, even though you made me hate you

I still remember those moments where I could’ve loved you