!! Warning !!

This is a dramatised version of a real situation that happened when I was 4, but I re-told it as if my parents were still together now and if it was happening in my mordern day. (I’m 16) so some parts are extremely dramatic while others are made up, but this is for the most part is based on a true event.

Also we are an Australian family so there is a lot of swearing.

“AYou’re a stupid fucking dog, neck yourself.”

The first word that i hear waking up to a loud bang sound. I look at my phone. 5:30am. Ever since dad started working he’s been yelling more. I didn’t even think that was possible until now. I hear another bang.

Fuuuuck.

“Make your own fucking lunch dickhead.” My Mum screams. “I’m not your little fucking whore that makes you shit whenever you want.” Another bang.

I can always hear them screaming at each other perfectly, even though my door is closed. I mean the walls are paper thin but it still surprises me. Before i have time to think my dad slams my bedroom door open.

“Amelia can you come out here? I can’t deal with this stupid slut.”

“Don’t talk to my daughter like that.”

“She’s my fucking kid too, i can talk to her however i like.” His eyes pierce mine. “Hurry up.”

I nod, getting up as quickly as I could. I follow my dad to the lounge room, Mum glaring at him. I sat on the couch and started pretending that I’m watching a blank TV.

“Amelia go back to bed, it’s too early for you to be up.” My mum says calmly, but in a stern voice.

“No Amelia stay.” My dad yelled back.

“No, it’s too early for her to be up, and she shouldn’t have to deal with your shitty attitude.” My mum starts yelling.

“Well maybe if you weren’t such a fucking whore and just made my lunch like i fucking asked you to, then maybe I wouldn’t be so shitty!” My dad sucks into the bong and blows out a puff of smoke in my direction.

The smell of majiuana is extremely strong and i start coughing and my mum snatches it off him.

“Why do you keep blowing smoke at her direction! She’s told you to stop for years now! And by the way, even if i did make your lunch you would still bitch and moan about it-“

“I’m gonna start getting ready for school!” I interrupt. The fight was starting to escalate and i didn’t want it to turn physical. I bolt to the bathroom and lock the door. I before i hop in the shower, i stand there, hoping, praying that they’re not going to fight like this when i get out.

I finish my shower and I’m about to open the door to leave but something is stopping me. My dad should be long gone and my mum should be in her room getting ready, so why am I terrified?

Even though i was shaking, i still opened my door and walked out of the bathroom. I observe the holes in the wall that’s near my bedroom. I look at my mum in her room, she’s staring back at me and calls me over, disgust filling her face.

“It’s 6 o’clock, why are you getting ready for school?” She says sternly.

“I…. Erm… just um… i wanna make sure i get to school on time!” I lied, she knew i was lying too.

“I know that you get scared when we fight, but you don’t have the right.”

My eyes widen, what does she mean I don’t have the right to be scared?

“You didn’t have to sacrifice your youth for that man. You didn’t get pregnant at 19 and you weren’t forced to abandon your dream for a fucking kid you didn’t even want.”

Shock filled my face as I feel my eyes get wetter. “…i know.”

“I love you Amelia, but you ruined my youth, and what do you have to show for it? Your grades are the worst I’ve ever seen.” Her voice raises. “You’re barely home, you think working 30 hours a week is impressive, and you never bring your friends over, hell you never bring a boy over!” She stares at me, her eyes engulfed in rage as her face gives me the same disgusted look. “Let’s just say, if you died tomorrow, you’d have nothing to show for it. People will only remember you for being a little bitch that couldn’t stop crying and shaking.” She knees down to my eye level. “And that you’re the result of a teen pregnancy. Which still ties back to Me. Go back to your room and get to school. If you’re late you’re fucking dead. Got it?” She finishes.

Tears are rolling down my face as I walk into my room and lock the door.

Once it’s shut I start silently sobbing into my favourite plushie.

I always tried for my parents, tried to be better for them, but as much as I try, they will never love me the way I want.