TW: topic of abortion and loss

June 21st, 2001

Today I found out I am pregnant. I did the test and the lines didn’t even need a minute before staring back at me.

I’m too young, I’m only 19. I’m going to make an appointment, first thing tomorrow.

June 28th, 2001

I couldn’t do it. I had to go for a scan since my cycle is irregular and thats when I saw the heartbeat. I will make it work somehow, I told the dad of the baby and he simply pretended not to know me. It’s just me and the little bean against the world.

September 19th, 2001

I completely forgot to write in here, I have been so tired. The taste of spaghetti now tastes sour, no one ever told me your sense change so much whilst pregnant.

September 25th, 2001

I have a bump now, somewhat small but it’s there, my parents are actually quite excited to be grandparents. Little bean will be so loved.

October 8th, 2001

Decided to find out the gender, little bean will be a boy! Little bean is due in January, might be sharing a birthday together.

October 27th, 2001

I keep getting cramps, apparently it’s normal but I feel awful.

January 8th, 2002

It’s my birthday today. My little bean didn’t make it to his birthday. I knew I was too young to be a mother, it was foolish of me to think I would be able to do it alone.