I remember the dances in the open foyer

Where our steps echoed and stairs on either side spiralled.

When we would twist

And turn

And laugh.

But in a quieter moment, when the world seemed to scarce,

he would give me a look:

A wide-eyed look of puppy dog awe

Which made my eyes become downcast

I’d wonder whether to tell him about my predicament…

I wondered whether to speak of or even dare to expose my dark self.

I pondered what felt to be a million thoughts in a fraction of a second.

Will he think less of me? Will he love me any less?

In those tender moments, when the silence was most loud,

I questioned revealing what I held dear.

Would he still cherish the flaws that I hide?

Or would his love falter; wither like a rose in winter?

Yet, in his patient eyes, I find a glimpse;

A reassurance that helps me believe it could be true.

For love, though fragile, has a power,

To mend the broken and heal internal cold…

To shine a light in the dark.

So I take a breath

And open my heart.

A slight creek of the door to my soul…

Ajar.

And in this quiet moment, on the end of this bed,

My Hemlock i gift to him.

Palms open.

“Please take it.

Understand that it’s there.

It will be..always there.

In the back.

But sometimes it wants the spotlight

And you won’t like it.

It takes time.

And work.

And added effort.

But it’s not me…

But it’s a part of me.”

He tells me it’s fine

That he has demons

Demons hiding in his mind

Pulling their sharp claws at his soul

And being with him will be work at times

And being his will be effort.

His honesty cuts through the barbed wire fence

His tears and my weeps as he takes my Hemlock

And I hold him, greeting his Demons.

Though we know in our minds

That we won’t

That we can’t

That one day, my Hemlock will poison him

And his Demons will merge into one

taking my soul with his.

But we stay in each other’s arms

Because of love

Because of love

Because we share our love

Because love is the lie that keeps us alive.