POEM STARTER
“Open skies beckon in something broader.”
Write a poem that begins with this line.
POEM STARTER
“Open skies beckon in something broader.”
Write a poem that begins with this line.
Such a powerful premise! May I suggest working on this piece as a prose poem? The narrator could share more of her feelings walking the shuttle, thinking about the media whirlwind, her students, her family, her mounting excitement. If you build up the narrator’s expectations and joy the ending will have even greater impact and give gravitas to that first sentence. Excellent use of this prompt and I’m looking forward to more of your writing. I think you are better at poetry than you think.
Your writing is well thought out and perfectly brings to the main point of action. I would just recommend two things to work on when writing. A, use more descriptive writing and replace boring words/phrases. B, try to use the word I less and find alternatives. An example that may help is that instead of saying “I close my eyes to breathe as everything goes on around me” say “My eyes gradually close in hope that it may help me regain my breathing while the outside world continues in its motion”. I am no professional writer of any sort so and choose if this helps or if it doesn’t. This is just my personal opinion of the piece you wrote.
It could use a bit more rhyming but I see where your coming from!