In the land of Horologgia, the people had a peculiar relationship with time. Unlike the rest of the world, they didn’t measure time in minutes, hours, or days. Instead, they divided their lives into _Task Units_—small increments based entirely on how long it took to complete various mundane activities.

For instance, there was the “Boil Unit,” which measured time based on how long it took a kettle of water to boil. Naturally, this was a contentious issue, as some citizens swore by high-altitude boils, while others preferred the slow-burn method. “The Boil Unit is clearly longer in the mountains!” cried one faction. “Only a fool would boil on a flatland stove!” rebutted another. As a result, national debates raged over legislation to standardize the Boil Unit, with endless parliamentary sessions grinding to a halt because no one could agree on the official kettle.

Another popular measurement was the “Coffee Sip Interval,” a unit defined by how long it took the average Horologgian to drink their morning coffee. Of course, not everyone drank coffee. Tea drinkers, juice enthusiasts, and even the rogue water drinkers—known as the “Clear Beverages Coalition”—all demanded their own version of the unit.

One day, the great Council of Tasks met to discuss an even more pressing issue: the “Laundry Cycle Dilemma.” Half the population believed time should be measured by the standard wash cycle, while others advocated for the spin cycle. The elderly Horologgians, however, still clung to the “Line Dry Epoch,” insisting it was the true measure of time’s passing.

This division came to a head when someone, in a moment of innovation, suggested introducing a “Bathroom Break Segment.” It was supposed to be a universally agreed-upon measure, since everyone used the bathroom. But soon, arguments arose over the variations in bathroom habits. “What about quick relievers versus those who take their time with a newspaper?” asked a skeptical scholar. Some insisted it should include handwashing time, while others fought for the inclusion of mirror-checking.

As arguments intensified, Horologgia’s leaders found themselves in a temporal mess. Work stopped because no one could agree on what a “Task Unit” was anymore. If a meeting was scheduled for “one Boil Unit,” some arrived after five minutes, others after twenty, and some never showed up at all, waiting for their laundry to finish.

Eventually, Horologgians reached a solution: instead of changing their units, they simply stopped caring about time altogether. People went to work when they felt like it, meals were eaten whenever someone was hungry, and the concept of being late dissolved entirely. Life became an endless series of tasks, accomplished in their own, very personal measure of time.

Surprisingly, the new system worked. And as one old man was overheard saying, “You can never be late if you don’t agree what time is in the first place.”