“There’s been 15 family slaughters in the past two months here.”

“I said we’ll take it! Not often you get to go camping for a price like that!” Ned said to the booking agent on the phone.

So soon, Ned, his partner Dave, and their daughter Amy went camping.

“Is anyone creeped out that we’re the only ones here? And it’s completely silent, no birds or anything?” Amy asked her dads as they set up tents.

“No, not really. I mean there is a guy in the trees holding a big knife, maybe he scared the birds away?” Dave said, busying himself with the grill.

“Who wants hot dogs?”

Noon turned to evening, and by morning the family woke up to a surprise.

All their food was gone, and the grass had been burned into a message - LEAVE NOW.

“Hmm.” Ned mused. “Probably kids.”

“Kids? Kids took all our food and burned a evil message in the ground?” Amy asked, disbelieving. “We should go.”

“It’s only been one night.”

So they stayed.

The second morning bought skulls around their tents, the third a huge dead deer torn to shreds which Dave cooked up. The fourth night it rained blood.

Still they stayed. Until…

The fifth night bought candles and robed figures that accompanied them. They circled the tattered tents, and hummed until the family woke.

“All right! Let’s do this!” Ned announced, emerging. “You have violated the ‘sceptres and ghosts’ code by over killing. I am inspector Ned, this is a violation warning. Next time we will be bringing you in.”

The figures scuttle away, and the morning brings birds and a fresh supply of food back in their tents.

“What did you do, dad?” Amy asks. “I was so scared!”

Ned stirs his coffee in his camping mug. “I bluffed, hon.” And takes a long sip.