I don’t know when it happened. When I started experiencing more static towards him than I usually have. I can’t recall ever feeling so strogly about him in the past.

I saw a doctor the other day. She told me it was something psychosomatic and that it wasn’t in her field. My friends tell me it’s a “love sick symptom”, but what do they know?

I’ve had my share of girlfriends in the past, so I know what love feels like — but this is a completely different feeling. I didn’t seek out their attention, crave for their touch like a clingy dog.

I hate my words feeling stuck in my throat. I hate being hyper aware of how close our bodies are. I hate being a mess near him. If this is love, then I hate it. Everybody gloats about how captivating love is. How it’s “butterflies in your stomach” type of crap. This feels more like butterflies that never metamorphosed.

My other friends kept poking fun at me; teasing me and asking when I’d “get my man”, and to be honest, I don’t think I ever will. If this is how clingy I am already, I don’t wanna even think about how I’d be with him as my boyfriend.

(not usually how I’d write a feeling like this. kinda wanted to make it in the pov of a somewhat oblivious stoic guy)