“I love how well you get on with my family,” Matt smiled fondly. “Would you ever consider moving closer to them? After we’re married, I mean.”

“What do you mean, “after we’re married”? What makes you so sure we‘ll get married?”

He dropped his gaze to the floor, abashed. He should have waited until he had asked explicitly; he should’ve known it wouldn’t bode well to blurt out comments like that. Such things shouldn’t be taken for granted, he reminded himself, before fixing his girlfriend with a sheepish smile.

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to be presumptuous. I just meant... well, I really need to think more before I speak.” He laughed awkwardly.

Sienna grimaced slightly, avoiding giving too much away by his expression. She almost never tried to hide his feelings, which made Matt all the more surprised to see her jaw tighten as she responded.

“Matt...” she broke off, before gently taking his hand. “Matt, I don’t know if I‘ve ever told you just how much you mean to me. I... I’m not going to marry you, Matt. I decided that a while ago.”

He flushed, humiliated. The possibility that she would reject him so bluntly had never even occurred to him. Countless questions arose, and he let go of her hand. His voice sounded shockingly calm as he replied, and he was grateful that it didn’t give away the hurt he felt. “Don’t you love me?”

“Of course I do. I think that would be obvious to anyone with eyes! That’s nothing to do with me not marrying you, though.”

“What are you talking about? That has everything to do with you marrying me!”

“Actually, yeah. I guess it does,” Sienna said thoughtfully. Matt’s voice caught in his throat and he blinked, taking a deep breath.

“Why won’t you marry me? Am I... not good enough, or something?”

“Not good enough?” Sienna repeated, astonished. “Not good enough! Jesus, Matt, if that was the case then no one could ever be good enough. You’re too good, you’re too much, it’s...” She shook her head, trailing off.

“Then why?? If that’s true, why won’t you let me propose to you?”

“Because you don’t love me,” she said softly, looking back at him.

His face crumpled. “I don’t understand, Sienna. I care about you, you know I do. It might not be love in the traditional sense, but hell, it’s more than what most married couples we know have. We would be happy together. We’d share a house, a family, everything that we would need. It would be more than enough.”

She smiled, resigned, and nodded her head. “You’re right, Matt. You’d so much for me, and you would love me, too, in your own way. But I’d know. I’d always know. I would try to convince myself otherwise, and maybe on some level I’d manage, but deep down I’d always know, and it’d drive me mad. I’d hate myself for it, wondering why, why I couldn’t make you love me. Maybe you will get married someday, and it’ll be enough, but not us. Not me.” The pain in his eyes as she responded was almost enough to make her reconsider.

“But why not you, Sienna? Why not?”

“Because I would love you. I wouldn’t be able to help myself,” she said simply. “You’d love me back to some degree, but it wouldn’t be the same. Not really. I’d love you even more then I already do and it would kill me every day knowing that you couldn’t love me in the same way. You’d never be able to, and that would make me a bitter shell of a woman. I won’t do that to you, Matt, because I want you to be happy. And most of all, I want that for myself.”

He looked at her with such an aching expression, so distraught, and she wished there was something she could do to make him feel better but she knew that this was the only way for them both to find happiness.