I made it! There's hardly a cloud in the sky and the October sun hits my face as I pause for a moment at the edge of the quarry. I clunk my bottle out of my bag and take a long, deep swig.

I feel as though I'm looking down at a painting. Nothing about this scene reminds me

of anything. My eyes see it, but my brain rejects it.

There was a time when such beauty would touch a deep place inside me. I see it. But I don't feel it.

I promised I would come here and here I am. I scramble in my backpack and find Peter's instructions, along with the photograph, the compass and the urn.

' Face Southwards and a shaded spot, hidden from view....'

'Alright, here goes nothing...' I put all the items save the note back into my backpack and I tentatively descend into the quarry. Oh holy crap, is that a bear?!! Distracted by the scuffling of a brown furry creature I see moving soundlessly up between some trees on the bank, I suddenly lose my footing on a particularly slippery rock. My backpack which is precariously hanging from my shoulder begins to slip. 'No no no!!!' I've got everything in there. I attempt to pull it back up but I'm in danger of falling since my footing is slipping. In an instant, it's it's gone. Falling falling deep into the quarry.

A primal roar. I throw myself to the ground, lest it sees me.

I whimper.

Is this what you wanted Peter?! You wanted me with you huh?!! It wasn't enough for you to screw us all over you selfish fuck!!! With your pedantic suicide note and your kamakasi memorial mission?!! Why ?!!! Why?!!

A pain in the ass in death, as you were in life.

Fuck you Peter, I'm done. I'm done. I'm not giving up. Not like you did pal. I'm not going to be a loser like you!!!!!

This is therapeutic. This is intoxicating. This is closure.

I'm getting out of here, bear or no bear.