I never should have said I would do it. More importantly, I should never have written it down. Now, the time had come. Time for my comeuppance.

I know I was rash, but I told everybody that I would be a best-selling author before our 10-year reunion. I even bragged about it in the school newspaper. And here we were. Ten years later. Oh, how I dreaded facing everybody. They’d surely remember my rashness. They’d surely know that I fell short. It would be awful. Ah, the humiliation.

“Hey Robert. Long time no see.”

“Glad you could make the reunion, buddy.”

“Whoa! You still have hair! I thought for sure…”

“You still living out in the sticks?”

“You living with your folks again?”

“I saw your folks the other day. They look fantastic.”

And so it went. None of my buddies even mentioned my rash statement. It was as if they had forgotten. I had dodged the bullet. Phew.

Then, we had an outing the second day of the reunion. We were going to see the campus. Walk around the old place. When we got to the fountain in front of main building, the whole class had their phones out. My best friend Corey jumped up on the edge of the fountain. I knew the jig was up.

“Gather round all ye wonderful ladies and gents. Today, we have the comeuppance of our own Robert.” People clapped and egged me on. My friends pushed me toward the fountain.

Corey continued, “As you may know, young Robert would tell anybody and everybody that he would be a best selling author by…” He looked at his watch. “Well, by golly, by yesterday, the first day of our ten-year reunion. And as my mobile device says so clearly, he did not quite make it. Yes. He made a valiant effort. But there is no mention of our beloved Robert on any best-seller list.”

Everybody said, “Aaaaaah.” I was unconvinced of their sympathy.

“So today, Robert is going to undergo his own baptism in our beloved fountain.” Corey looked down at me from the edge of the fountain. “Robert. If you would.”

I tried to look reluctant, but I was actually enjoying the attention. I slowly walked to the fountain and stepped up to join Corey. Everybody cheered.

“No, no, dear friend. Into the fountain, you must go. And you must make sure to go under all the way on our signal. Grab a handful of coins or muck or whatever else is down there. But if you get any coins, you gotta put ‘em back.” Corey winked.

I stepped into the fountain. It was warm. And a bit gross. The ducks who had been in the water had flown away when Corey stepped up to make his announcement. A few of them had come back. But they were on the far side. Still, I knew what they had been leaving in the fountain for years. I sat down in the fountain. I saw everybody’s phones recording me.

“Okay everybody, on the count of three.”

Everybody shouted, “One… Two… Three!”

I leaned backward and dunked my head underwater. I was looking up at what I knew was the clear blue sky through the filmy, dirty, gross water. I heard the muffled cheers through the water. I stayed under for as long as I could. Which was not very long because I had to keep breathing out from my nose to keep the water and filth out.

I sat up out of the water to cheers. I showed my empty hands. No coins. Or muck. My classmates were still filming.

I stood and the water cascaded off my clothes. I stepped out of the fountain. My shoes were soggy. My head was dripping. Everything on me was drenched. Even my wallet and phone were wet. I had forgotten all about them. Ugh.

Corey was still up on the side of the fountain. He had more to say.

“Okay everybody. Now you can buy his book.” He looked right at me. “I think our class ought to put you over the top and you’ll be a best-selling author.”

Everybody cheered. And then they lined up for my autograph. I signed their copies of the article I had written in the school newspaper just over ten years ago.

I smiled. I knew the title of my next book. My Comeuppance or A Day Late and a Bunch of Books Short.