The Cut That Always Bleeds

I stood there tears streaming down my face hot and salty against my skin. ā€œWhat did you _do_?!ā€ I screamed it over and over again but it was no use. Things wouldnā€™t change. ā€œI- I am so sorryā€¦ there has to be a way to fix this! She canā€™t be deadā€¦ I can fix this!ā€ Julieā€™s voice was shaky and hysterical but words couldnā€™t undo what she had done.


What _we_ had done.


The aroma of thick metallic blood was sickening. It was weighing down the room. It was all over the cold hard ground, the newly ruined pristine white walls, and our hands. It was hot and sticky on my hands and shirt. I clenched my fists and felt it squish. I hurried over to the sink and thoroughly rinsed the bloody knife, as well as my hands, with hot water and soap. ā€œGo get the gasoline from the garage, Julie. Iā€™ll get the matches.ā€


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five months later



I woke up and clicked off my alarm on my phone. Summertime meant no school but I still had to wake up since I had plans. I was finally going to tell someone my secret. And that someone was Grayson. My best friend since grade school and the guy Iā€™ve had a crush on since seventh grade.


The sickening dread of telling someone mine and Julieā€™s deepest darkest secret was consuming me. I already felt my heart sinking. He would tell the cops, then me and Julie would go to jail and he would never talk to me ever again. I didnā€™t want to do it but I had to.


I walked into the coffee shop on maine street and got hit with the strong scent of coffee and pastries. Grayson greeted me with a warm smile and as he walked over he ran a hand through his picturesque blonde hair.


But then seeing him there, smiling and happy, I went back three years ago. Me sitting on a bench in the middle of the park with him. We had walked there all the way from my house and needed a break. We had laughed and talked about everything from our past together. He had trusted me with everything. He told me about his parents fighting, his embarrassing moments, what he thought about other people. And thatā€™s when I knew I had to tell him what was going on. Because he had trusted me, I had to trust him.


His expression shifted, ā€œCass whatā€™s wrong? You look like youā€™re about to cry.ā€ He said softly as he took my hand in his. ā€œMaybe we should go to my car. Itā€™s quieter there.ā€ I whispered as my voice broke. So we walked to my car and I got in the driver side and he sat shotgun. ā€œI did something awful. At least three times. Im so, so sorryā€¦ā€ I say breathlessly and already in tears.


ā€œCass, what do you mean? Youā€™re not making any sense.ā€ He said confused. And then all panic hit.


_I canā€™t do this. Heā€™s going to hate us. How will he react? What will he do? Is he going to call the cops? What if I replace what Iā€™m going to say with something else? How can I fix this? _



But then I snapped. ā€œM- me and Julieā€¦ Do you remember the house fire at Alisonā€™s house in February?ā€ I asked as I clenched my fists and began to sweat. ā€œYeah it was awful, she died because you guys couldnā€™t get her out in time.ā€ He replied solemnly. ā€œNoā€¦ n-no. No she didnā€™t die because we couldnā€™t get her out, Gray. S- she was already dead! We killed her! Me and Julie killed her and watched her suffer but did _nothing_ to help her and then blamed it on a fire that _we_ caused!ā€ I brought my knees to my chest, shaking and terrified of what he will do and wept. Tears soaking my shirt and pants.


I glanced over at him and he was looking slightly down with a shocked and terrified expression on his face. ā€œI- Iā€¦ why?ā€ He whispered.


ā€œIt was an accident I swear! Julie was bringing the knife over to Alison and slipped. But then she did it over and over again without any thought. I think maybe Julie enjoyed it, Gray. I promise I had no part in the stabbing. I tried to help her at one point but just gave up. The fire was my idea.ā€ I said throughout sobs.


I saw tears in his eyes as he looked over at me. Pain on his face and in his words, ā€œI canā€™t believe youā€™d do that. But I wonā€™t tell anyone. I _canā€™t_ tell anyone. As much as it hurts to say, I believe you did kill Ali. But also that you had little to no part. But we _need_ to go talk to Julie. Get her to confess.ā€ He said shakily, as if he didnā€™t believe his own words. As if he wanted to run away. Straight to the cops.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julieā€™s house


She smiled at us as she opened the door. ā€œHey you guys! Long time no see! Whatā€™s up?ā€ She said perkily. ā€œJulieā€¦ we need to talk about something. Gray knows what we didā€¦ Iā€™m sorry but I had to tell _someone_. It was him, or the cops.ā€ I said quietly. Tears in my eyes and hands behind my back cautiously. Julieā€™s eyes darted from me to Grayson and then locked the door behind us. ā€œHow could you!ā€ She screamed at me, ā€œAfter everything we did to hide it from people?! You little liar!! You said you wouldnā€™t tell a _soul!_ā€ She screamed hysterically, Hands in her hair, and face turning red from the effort of the screaming.


Grayson took my hand. ā€œWe should go. Iā€™m sorry, Julie. She didnā€™t want to tell me. She was trying to keep me safe.ā€ He said calmly but cautiously. ā€œNo. Youā€™re not going anywhere,ā€ Julie pointed at Grayson as she grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter, ā€œNot until I know you wonā€™t say a word.ā€ She lunged at him with the knife. But missed. I screamed at her to stop but Grayson kept telling me to leave and call the cops. And then Julie turned to me.


ā€œNone of this would have happened if it wasnā€™t for you. I should have left you in that fire, I couldā€™ve said, oops! Another death in the fire! What difference did it make?ā€ She pushed me against the wall and I gave up. I was going to die. ā€œYouā€™re crazy! I never shouldā€™ve been friends with you!ā€ I yelled back.


She turned to Grayson and let me go. ā€œSurprised you didnā€™t intervene lover boy. You didnā€™t try to save your little girlfriend.ā€ Julie approached him but I stepped in before she met him by the kitchen. ā€œStop. Just let him go and take me. He wonā€™t tell anyone.ā€ I pleaded.


But she lunged. And as soon as I knew I should feel a knife in my stomach Grayson was in front on me. I saw blood seep into the back of his navy blue shirt. I screamed. My eyes grew wide and fear shot up the back of my neck. I screamed and screamed. It was the kind of scream you heard in horror movies. Not in real life though. I grabbed a pan on the stove and hit Julie as hard as I could in the head before and she crumbled to the ground. I was already breaking down into tears and trying to help Grayson.


ā€œItā€™s okā€¦ youā€™re ok.ā€ I said shakily trying to put pressure on his wound. ā€œCass itā€™s no use. Even by the time medics get here Iā€™m already going to be dead.ā€ Grayson replied weakly. His face was pale and there was blood all over the marbled floor. ā€œNo. Donā€™t say that! I canā€™t lose youā€¦ youā€™re my only friend.ā€ I was running out of breath. I could barely see through my own tears and the realization of the situation was setting in. Grayson was dying and there was nothing I could do about it.


ā€œItā€™s ok Cass. Really. I know you tried to keep me away from all of this but it was only a matter of timeā€¦ā€ He said breathlessly, ā€œItā€™s not your fault I tried to protect you.ā€ I looked at him and saw his hope fading. He gave me a weak smile and brushed my hair out of my face. ā€œI couldnā€™t have asked for a better life. Maybe a longer one, but only if it was with you. Goodbye Cass. Iā€™ll see you again, I promise.ā€ And with that he exhaled one last time and he was gone.


ā€œHe sacrificed his life to save mineā€¦ after all I didā€¦ā€ I whispered to no one in particular as I stared at his lifeless body on the floor.


ā€œWell thatā€™s such a shame.ā€ A voice from behind me said. It was Julie. ā€œYā€™know why I killed Alison? It wasnā€™t an accident, it just looked that way. She was planning to befriend _me_ and leave _you_ behind. I just couldnā€™t let that happen, so I did what I had to! Same with him,ā€ she gestured to Grayson, ā€œHe was trying to take you away from me. He told me all about it, tomorrow night at the movies he was going to ask you out. So this was just perfect! Now we can be best friends again!ā€ She said in a creepily happy tone.


ā€œI would rather die than be friends with you. Youā€™re a psychopath!ā€ I yelled, ā€œYou killed our only friends!ā€ I was still sobbing but I was angry. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. ā€œWell since we canā€™t seem to get along about this, then Iā€™m really sorry about what Iā€™m about to do. I truly am.ā€ She took three steps forward and I felt a sharp pain all the way across my neck, then it all went black.


I never woke up after that.

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