Finding a way into tricky situations has never been a problem for me -although I still haven’t learned the art of getting out of them.

My 11 year old sister asked me to play “Cards Against Humanity” which I knew would have inappropriate words, but I thought screw it! I’m trying to be the cool older sister (age 26) here why not. So we play, and before you know it she asked me what a virgin was?

Now when I was in third grade, a kid asked me if I was a virgin at 8 years old. A teacher overheard and I ended up in the principals office. Later that day my mother yelled at me because the principal assured her it was no big deal because I didn’t even know what a virgin was. But you see apparently that was why she was mad. She says “ you don’t pay attention in church! Mary was a virgin you should know this.”

Now I didn’t want my younger sister to get in trouble for not knowing virgin at 11, when I got in trouble for not knowing virgin at 8, so I decided to mortify her, and tell her.

Then as the game goes on she asked “ Amber, what is C-U-M? Now since she asked it like that I assumed that she thought it was an acronym which is weird bc it wasn’t printed in caps or spelled out on the card;it was just the word cum. Now I didn’t want to tell her what cum and virgin was on the same night, I thought it would be too much to be blamed for later,so I decided to go with the acronym thing. I said it means “ Call Uncle Marty.”

Immediately she is confused and says “what?”I said “listen it’s part of growing up it’s an inside joke. Every kid knows “Call Uncle Marty” by age 16. I promise you it will come. “She asked “ if I don’t hear it by age 16 will you finally explain the inside joke to me?” I wanted to say no but I figured 5 years was enough to come up with an explanation for “Call Uncle Marty” so I said yes. I will come up with something when the time comes.