STORY STARTER
She laughed, and if I hadn’t been so relieved to see her alive, I might have laughed too.
Write a short story ending with this line. What have these characters gone through to make laughter so valuable?
STORY STARTER
She laughed, and if I hadn’t been so relieved to see her alive, I might have laughed too.
Write a short story ending with this line. What have these characters gone through to make laughter so valuable?
This was a nice piece! You definitely gave the idea that the protagonist had gone mad. You gave the idea of somebody who is obsessed. Your sentences were broken and rushed which also added to that idea of craziness.
You used "XX" college and R and A as names. I think it would have been better to put real names etc there. It felt slightly jarring for me to see these censored names.
This was good. It gave the idea of both craziness and pace: "Speed up. Slow down. Turn right. Cross the street. Turn right again. Again. Again. Grip keys in hand. Look at phone. Oops"
You really built up the tension well and I kept reading to see what was going to happen next. Your description of the murder was vivid and I could see it very easily.
Just don't forget proofread before posting. There were a couple of simple errors liked "stoped" and "ally" instead of "alley".
I hope I gave the image that this guy has gone crazy or has gone mad. If I didn’t get that across, what is it that I’d have to change for that to get across? All friendly feedback is welcome!