Today is the day that I start a new chapter in my life. 

Today is the day I am moving from my childhood home, once filled with joy but now only painful memories, to a small lakefront town in the Blue Ridge Mountains. I always pictured my family sending me off on my new venture, helping me pack, and waving goodbye as I drove away, but instead, I was alone packing and walking through the house that used to feel used to give the feeling of home. 

I took down my little brother's crayon scribble drawing off the refrigerator; I couldn't help but feel as if I was leaving behind more than just a place but a part of me that may never return. That colorful piece of art is priceless in my eyes, Just like the rows and rows of baseball caps that used to live on my daddy's dresser but are now in a box with my momma's tattered bible after years of nightly use. I must ensure I have everything; I cannot leave more memories behind than I must. 

As I walked into the room where my grandfather spent his last moments in this world, shivers came over my body, Memories of hearing stories about World War 2 and how much trouble he got into back in the good old days. The room still smells like him. Then I saw the one thing I almost forgot: Papa’s Checkers board. We would spend hours playing when I was a young child. Even when I would cheat, Papa would always find a way to beat me. On his sickest days, he still wanted to play checkers with me, and those were some of the highlights of the past two years. 

This house is flowing with memories: my baby brother coming home from the hospital, intense uno games, and my momma and daddy's devotional, which they did every night in the living room. These memories tug at my heart. Everyone I have ever loved has betrayed me or died on me, leaving me alone in this world. The weight I carry in my heart is too much to bear; that's why I need a restart, a blank canvas on which to paint the life I want. And that is what I am doing. I am moving to Sunset Ridge and Ridgeland University; that is my restart. 

As I packed in the Checkers set, the sound of a Uhaul trailer appeared. It was finally that time, as the people came through the door to take the boxes to the trailer; a mumbling excuse left my lips as I made my way to my car on this rainy summer day. I sat in that car for over an hour, staring at everything that once filled my home, leaving it for the last time. Guilt envelops me, causing me to freeze in my grief, unable to move or speak. The world around me kept moving, but I stayed still. Seeing the trailer moving all of my family’s earthly possessions from the only place I ever called home snapped me out of my trance. I soon followed, ready to start my new life. 

Driving through the scenic North Carolina mountains is winding but beautiful; trees are starting to change from their somber green colors to the vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows of autumn. My new home is a charming, old log cabin with floor-to-ceiling glass windows that envelop the back wall of the house, framing the peaceful lake. My Papa always used to say that Water brings harmony to the soul, and harmony brings clarity. And that's what I need right now. That is the reason I picked this place.

When arriving at the cabin, I only unpacked the necessities- toiletries, pajamas, and bedding- and put them onto my mattress, lying on the floor before finally letting sleep drift over me. What is my life going to look like here? In only a few weeks, I will start my final year of nursing at Ridgeland University to pursue my dream of becoming a nurse; what will I do with my life? Even though I am unsure, this place is just the beginning.