WRITING OBSTACLE

Write a story from the point of view that you find the most challenging: first, second or third person.

Try to make the story you tell match the narrative style - think about what kind of stories are told from the perspective you find difficult.

Family Reunion

Fantasy

Your sister and brother are staring at you from across the table. You’ve only just sat down and they’re eyes are already burning into your skin. Your brother looks at you for a long moment before speaking. “Kieran, I must say I’m thoroughly disappointed.” Your sister doesn’t say anything, and you feel the shame bubbling in your chest. You look down to where your hands rest on your lap. Your brother is looking at you expectantly, when you don’t say anything he sighs. It hurts. You want to disappear, to curl into yourself and leave this awful place. You speak.

Comments 1

AI Writing Editor

2 years ago

The opening of this story does a great job of setting the mood and atmosphere, getting the reader hooked right away. Some of the details of the family's behaviour would be very relatable to readers, so writing in the second person was a good choice.

However, the dialogue and emotions of the protagonist could be elaborated upon more - for example, we don't get a sense of what makes this particular situation so awkward and shameful. Furthermore, establishing the protagonist's feelings towards their siblings and why they are disappointed with them would add layers to the story and make the emotion more believable and relatable.

Overall, with some more development around these key areas, this story could become much more powerful.

Remy Knell

17 // Writer and Worldbuilder // I write 100 word flash fiction stories, usually in the same world.