04/23 I could smell the cigarette smoke coming from four seats ahead of me. It was a mother and her baby; she tried rocking him to sleep but he kept crying as the train tracks buckled under us. She must’ve seen me staring because she turned to me and gave one of those polite half-smiles you give to strangers. Maybe she wondered why I was dressed in all black. A part of me felt bad for the kid. Another part felt bad for the mother. Maybe they felt bad for me. I returned the smile. 04/25 I couldn’t find the energy to write yesterday. I didn’t wanna pick up my pen just now, either. The last journal entry was a bad day. I’ve had a few of them. Goodnight. Miss you. 04/26 It’s nearing midnight and the neighbors dog won’t shut up again. I heard you say ‘Damn it, Roscoe’ in my half asleep/dream state. I couldn’t help but wake up and laugh. I must’ve laughed for 5 minutes or so. Your tone always got to me — so enchanting. You were such a light when I needed it. you are even now. Thanks for the laugh, and thanks for the sweet dreams. Love you. 04/27 I didn’t eat take out today. I decided to cook a steak — added rosemary garnish the way you used to (although mine wasn’t half as good). Then I put on a Zemeckis film (could you guess which?). Popcorn, soda. Probably gained a pound or two. Oh yeah, and your mom called earlier. She checks on me often. I can’t find the nerve to visit your parents yet. I’m glad you had each other. I’ll visit soon, promise. Well goodnight. Love you. 04/28 I could’ve swore I heard you call my name from a wishing well. The one in front of Giani’s. We must’ve thrown a hundred dollars worth of coins in there throughout the years. Think I could write that off on my taxes? Con’t: Y’know, I was never religious or spiritual, but since the day you left I’ve hoped you were right. It’s been almost a month now, and I’m not sure if it’ll ever get easier. But maybe you never really left. Maybe you’re still there. In the clouds. In the wishing well. Somewhere meandering between these written words and train rides. Thank you for the journal. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing to you. Wherever you are, my dear. Until we meet again. I love you Journal Entries — Week 1.