Just a little village, nothing to see here. Don’t mind the straw symbols hanging in the trees. Yes, we are aware that some of them have animal bones in them. It was an art project for the children. No, that’s not red paint. Well, animal blood is cheaper and easier to get around here than acrylics. Better for the environment too. Alright, let’s move on!

Mind your step- there are some skulls around here. Huh? It’s the priestess’ house, that’s why. Nobody knows whose they are, they’ve been there longer than the village. They made nice lawn ornaments, so she left them there. Why are you all so fascinated with this village? It’s just an ordinary vill- Hey! Don’t touch that crystal! Yes, I know it’s floating in the air. Just, from this point, no touching unless I say so, okay? Let’s get going.

I don’t know why you’re so upset with me, sir, I told you not to touch the crystal. But hey, you got off lucky- those burns are only superficial! There’s a first-aid kit on the bus, we’ll treat those as soon as we get back. Oh! Would you look at that- the villagers have gathered to bid us farewell. Please, don’t stare. They’ll take great offence. Yes, I know their eyes are hypnotising, but I can assure you they are all armed. No, not with guns, ma’am. With knives. And forks.