Confession Of An Accidental Killer (part 3)
You stare into the darkness. You can feel a draft of air coming from the tunnel, so it’s a safe bet it leads somewhere. So you figure you’ve come this far, might as well see it through so you have a story to tell Freddy. You step into the tunnel.
Pulling out your phone and turning on the flash light, you make your way down a steep makeshift path; mostly dirt and mud, with occasional pieces of plywood draped over large dips or pools of water.
You feel like your in another world. It feels like your traveling to the earths core on foot.
Right when you begin to entertain the idea of turning back, you see an elevator up ahead. A flipping elevator.
You approach the doors and they open, revealing a red lit interior with shiny mirrored walls. On the floor sits a phone. It looks nicer than yours.
There’s also a knife.
You step into the elevator and the doors immediately shut. There’s only one button: up.
You look at the button, you don’t think about the knife, and take a deep breathe. You’re not scared or anything, it was just a long walk, you know?
You press the button and the elevator rumbles to life. You have to catch yourself from falling. The phone rings one of those standard, built-in ringtones. You always personalize yours, right now you have it set to Heaven by Bryan Adams. You pick it up.
“Hello?” You say.
The voice on the other side is deep. Too deep. It’s got one of those voice modulation things going on.
“When the elevator reaches your destination, you will only have a short window to execute the target. When the hit is done, exit the way you came.”
“Wait, wait. Execute? Hit?”
“Since you’ve been in this elevator, we have accessed your bank account. Upon confirmation of job, payment will be made.”
“Wait! What am I supposed to do? I don’t know what’s going on!”
The other line says, “They told me you would be fully briefed. What’s going on?”
“Man, do not ask me! I have zero clue what’s going on! I was just eating my dinner when I found this note telling me to go to the bathroom. I thought at first the waiter was into me, ya know? I’m not into quick flings, but I did find it very flattering. Also, you got my bank account info? How did you do that? That’s got to be illegal or something.”
Now the guy on the other line is quiet.
“....Hello? You still there?” You finally ask.
“You received the note?” He says.
“In my Dinner? Yes, I did.”
“You said the secret phrase and received the directions to this elevator?”
“Secret phrase? I didn’t say any secret phrase! I just ordered my dinner and the waiter brought it and this note was in it,” you say.
“You said ‘chicken Alfredo but hold the chicken, a Caprese salad with cheddar cheese instead of mozzarella, and a cup of milk?’”
This time, you’re the one dumbstruck.
“Hello?” The deep voice says.
“THAT WAS THE SECRET PHRASE??” You yell. “I didn’t know that was a secret phrase! I just was ordering din din!”
“That’s... highly unlikely. What are the chances of you saying the exact words as the secret phrase?”
“A trabillion to one,” You say.
“That’s not a real number,” the voice says. “But it doesn’t matter now. Whether you are the hitman we contracted or Joe the Wal-Mart greeter, you are doing this job.”
“What is it you want me to do?” You say. You think maybe it’s something doable. Illegal, but doable. Something you can live with.
“You are to assassinate the President of the United States with that knife behind you.”
You look back at the knife.
“Right. Yeah. Cool. Straight forward,” you say, but you don’t know what your saying. You mind is reeling.
“If you do not complete the task,” the voice says slowly, “ you will be hunted down and killed. Your friends will be killed. Your family will be killed.”
“Right. Yeah. Cool. Straight forward,” you say. Holding the phone with your shoulder, you try at prying the elevator doors open. No way.
“The target is at a location known to very few. It’s not on any of his itinerary. He will only have two or three secret service with him.”
You circle the elevator, feeling the walls, looking for anything, any way out.
“He will be entering a restroom thinking he is meeting a girl. He will find you instead.”
You jump for the ceiling panels because that’s how people in the movies get out of elevators. Damn your short legs! Damn your father for not being a Harlem Globetrotter!
Now you’re thinking of your Dad.
You think of Freddy.
You think of yourself.
“Thank you for your service to the country,” the voice says and CLICK, he’s gone.
The elevator halts.
It gives a little ding.
The doors slide open.
You let them close.
So here you are.
Alone.
You suddenly remember the phone is your hand and figure you’ll call the police. But the phone has zero reception, no call works. You try your own phone. Same results. You realize it must be getting blocked.
Blocked by the people who could access your bank account and know everything about you.
Who are connected and dangerous enough to plan a President killing.
People who now know you are nothing special and will kill you and kill Freddy and Dad and Jacklyn from accounting even though she’s already deaf in her left ear.
And there’s something else that’s bugging you, even though it shouldn’t. The secret phrase. Your little joke about ordering chicken Alfredo but hold the chicken? That was so predictable it had been part of someone’s secret phrase. So on top of all this, you realize you’re not funny.
So now, what would you do, huh? If you were me.
You could confess to the president himself. Maybe he could protect you. Maybe Mr. Darth Vader Voice was bluffing about all the killing.
Maybe you kill the President and they kill you anyway.
Seriously, what would you do if you were in my situation? If you were standing in that red elevator, options at zero?
Well.
I’ll tell you what I did.
I picked up the knife and walked through the elevator doors.
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To Be Continued