VISUAL PROMPT
by Sans @ deviantart.com/Sanskarans
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Write a halloween horror in less than 10 sentences.
VISUAL PROMPT
by Sans @ deviantart.com/Sanskarans
Write a halloween horror in less than 10 sentences.
Nice piece, Red Luna. I like how you built suspense around the coffin early on and willed the reader to keep reading to see what would happen.
I liked your movement descriptions too: verbs like hoisted and trudged made far more of an impact that went or walked.
I noticed a couple of spelling/grammar mistakes. First paragraph there was “to close” instead of “too close”.
And I saw you using the past perfect tense (had checked/had crawled) when simple past would have worked better.
Last thing I’d mention is the narrator seemed quite calm despite being buried alive. Writing the note seemed a little unbelievable given the situation so I may have focused on and ending of someone desperately fighting for their life. But that’s just person preference.
Great piece, though. I look forward to reading more :)