Okay, so: I love this, love the suspense, love the way it's written. On that note, I see what you’re trying to do, but the clarity could be improved a bit.
You have a number of ramble-on sentences; look at all your “and’s” and “also’s.” Try breaking each sentence down into the individual thoughts. Additionally, the flow could be a bit clearer. I'm not sure how to explain how or where it went wrong, but if ask a friend to read it and see where they might struggle to follow. They'll see things you won't, because you have all the context for the story.
Sorry if my advise got a bit redundant or vague. I LOVE this concept, it just needs some polish!