It was my first day. I had been shadowing this one doctor all day. Finally he tells me we are headed towards our last stop of the day. We turn the corner to the part of the hospital I have never been to. The rooms are larger with more equipment and in the deepest corner of my mind I realize this is where patients go when they have a life or death surgery that determines whether or not they die. We walk to the end of the long hallway and I get more freaked out as we go along. I’m not prepared for this. I’m just a junior doctor. I’m not prepared. As we enter the dark dingy hospital room a see a glimpse of a face under the blankets. My ears block out the doctor as the doctor says they are here to check whether or not the surgery went well. He explains that this patient is the oldest and longest the hospital has. I’m just thinking about his face. The face had a virtually dead face. Not dead yet, but almost. I hear the beeps go loud. Very loud. As the doctors scrambles to bring the patient back to life i stand in the dark corner. I’m reminded of when my little sibling died. I just stood there in the corner feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing. Then I hear the machine stop. I look to the doctor and down to the patient and back again. I see the doctor cover the patients face with a white cloth. I just felt nothing. That person died on my watch. My watch. And I did nothing.