Chuck scratched his ear with his half dollar paw and took a long puff from his Cuban cigar before beginning, “Listen up, gang.”

Sassy licked her lips and meowed, her antique green eyes focused on Chuck’s jowls, matted with drool, as he continued speaking.

“I called you all here today to talk about John as he walked out to grab the mail this morning in his boxers. Did you see the size of that shit stain?!”

The room howled with yips and barks. Chuck’s belly hit the poker table as he laughed deeply, spilling chips onto the floor.