I take a deep breath and wipe my tears as I look out the window. I have been sobbing for what feels like eternity. I knew this day was coming. We both did. But it still doesn’t make it any easier.

“Sean! They’re here!” I cry out to my husband in between shuddering breaths.

“Okay, we’re coming.” He says with heavy footsteps.

I turn around and I see Sean holding Sally. I try and take in that beautiful face. I try to absorb every little thing about her so that I will never forget.

“Mommy? Why are you crying?” she asks in that squeaky little voice every 3 year old seems to have.

“Oh sweetheart. I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.”

Trying to gather myself so Sally won’t see me sob anymore I say “so, are you ready? Are you ready to see your first mommy again?”

“I don’t really want to. I want to stay with you. Why can’t I stay with you?” her voice begins to break as her eyes begin to water.

I can’t do this. I can’t. I am going to fall apart. I won’t be able to give her away.

Then there’s the knock.

It’s time.

Sean opens the door and there she is. The woman that’s tearing our family apart. The social worker. I know it’s not her fault and she’s just doing her job but her job is tearing our life into pieces.

“Hi Donna” Sean says as stern as ever. Strange coming from a man who is always laughing and joking around.

“I see you’re right on time. Trudy must really want Sally back this time, huh?”

“I know this is hard for you but Trudy is her mom. All the i’s have been dotted and t’s have been crossed. I’m sorry to be doing this to you but it’s completely out of my hands.”

I turn around, grab Sally and give her a hug that I never want to end. And the sobs start coming. And this time it feels like I can’t breathe. Sean wraps his arms around us both and we stay there for as long as we possibly can.

“We love you so much Sally. So so much. Never forget that”.

“I love you mommy, I love you daddy.” Sally says through tears.

Then, I feel it.

The pull.

Donna, damn Donna, is pulling her away from us. There she goes ripping our family apart.

It’s a moment that feels like an eternity watching her walk down the drive with our little girl.

Within minutes they’re gone. And we’re just broken into a million pieces.

I glance up at Sean. “Why? Why is this happening?

It’s been three years. We built our family together and this is what happens?!” I continue to yell and try to get out all my anger.

“Everyone knows that Trudy is the worst thing for her. Why does everyone keep pretending like she is her mother. I AM HER MOTHER!” I start to feel the ground disappear from underneath me as I scream from the pain I feel.

Sean grabs hold and comes down to me. Cradling my face he says “my love, I know, it hurts. It’s a pain no parent should ever have to go through.” He says through shuddering breaths, tears running down his face. “This isn’t the first time we’ve gone through this and I know, I KNOW we will get her back. Trudy is not her mother, you are. And we will get our baby back.”