The day you’ve been waiting for has finally arrived.

A lifetime of anger and a hurt so intense that no amount of medication could mask, is about to be erased.

I found you.

You left me without a second thought and put me in a place that made hell look like utopia. Did you know what kind of orphanage you were leaving me in? Did you care? No one wanted a 7yo boy. Apparently I was ‘too old’. Not too old for the priests though - they told me I was pretty. They wanted me all the time.

I cried every night for you but you never came back.

By they time I was sixteen I had stopped crying, or laughing - or even smiling and all I could feel was anger. No one even suspected me when father Tony ‘disappeared’. The whole community was so concerned about their beloved father that murder or foul play never even entered their minds. They would have never thought that someone as innocent as me could have chopped up his body and buried it under the chapel. But I did.

After the funeral I left the only home I had known for the last nine years. I thought living on the streets would be easier than the orphanage and it was to a point. At least the sexual abuse stopped. When I had the needle in my arm, I forgot about you for a minuscule amount of time but the memories always came back.

Your house is beautiful. It’s much better than the one that I remember living in with you. Who is that woman in the photos and where is my mom? I don’t understand why you kept your other children instead of me. I was a good boy and I tried my best.

I know you’ll be home soon. 5:15 just like clockwork. I bet you’ll be glad to see me. I’m not such a good boy now and I like to punish people that treat me badly. I know that you’ll understand that I need to punish you too. It’s pitch black in your bedroom closet but it’s still better here than on the streets. I promise, you won’t feel a thing. I’m not the kind of person that wants to drag out the pain and I won’t chop you up like the last two because I love you. I’ll stay here and hold your hand until the ambulance comes. I know that once you’re gone, my agony will go with you.

It’s 5:10 now. I’ll see you in five minutes.