Salem, my beloved, my furry feline.

I’ll have no worries as long as he’s mine.

Everyone knows to approach me with care,

Otherwise, they’ll end up with burdens to bear.

Miss Crawford, for example, who lived down the way,

Grew balls and decided to cuss me one day.

But little did poor little Miss Crawford know,

Salem was there to witness the show.

A screech of terror came from her house later that night,

And the police entered to find a dreadful site.

Lying face down in a dark pool of red

Miss Crawford had fallen and busted her head.

Then there was that one old guy, a total stranger,

Who pulled out in front of me in a red Ford Ranger.

He flipped me the finger as he drove away,

But Salem was with me, so that guy had to pay.

later that night, I turned the news on TV,

That old man’s face was staring back at me.

He fell asleep at the wheel and veered off into the wrong lane,

His red Ranger flipped and burst right into flames.

‘’What an awful tragedy’’, most folks would say,

‘’It was their time to go’’, or ‘’it just wasn’t their day.’’

But I know the truth, it was my beloved feline.

Cross me, and you’ll face Salem‘s wrath…

EVERY TIME.