WRITING OBSTACLE
To gain your freedom, you must make it through a treacherous maze blindfolded.
Rather than including details about how you got into this scenario, try to be as descriptive as possible about how you would survive this experience.
WRITING OBSTACLE
To gain your freedom, you must make it through a treacherous maze blindfolded.
Rather than including details about how you got into this scenario, try to be as descriptive as possible about how you would survive this experience.
Im your biggest fan
Alright Josh. Alright!! I’m officially a fan! My heart swelled at such clarity. And your way with metaphors is enviable! This felt so much cleaner. I’m quadruply (which I will defend is a word lol) impressed!! You’re just hands down a great writer.
I’ve noticed that when your character is thinking and connecting their thoughts to metaphors, that’s when all the commas crop up. That’s understandable and realistic. My feedback here is truly take it or leave it. I’ve done a lot of “thinking writing” and have taken the route of still shortening those sentences, but starting the following sentence in mid thought. For example: “I was lead forward until similar predicaments found their way to me again and again. Follow the breeze? Or do I risk my hopeful desire? I chose to continually take what I believed to be the safer route.” This isn’t a perfect fix but it accomplishes two things. 1) Helps the reader’s “digestion.” 2) Allows you to play with pitch and swell mid thought.
Feel free to keep what you have going here though! Your work is wonderful!