I sobbed into the pillow, not knowing if I was crying for myself, or what I had done.

I was selfish. Horrible. Everything I touched I broke.

I killed a man.

Everything had shattered as soon as I pulled the trigger. I was a murderer.

Keep it together, I scolded myself. No one needs to know. It wasn’t you. You know nothing about it.

But it was only a matter of time before I would break under the weight of guilt and deception.

“Natalie?” A soft voice asked from the door. “Is it alright if I come in?”

I would rather see anyone else. Anyone. Not her.

The sweet, innocent soul who had stood by me in everything; forgiving me through the hardest part of my life.

I hated her, for no reason at all. I hated myself. I hated the man I had shot. I hated everyone.

“Nat? Are you okay? I can leave if-“

“No. It’s alright.”

I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth.

“Natalie, what’s wrong? What happened?”

I sat up, my eyes red, mascara tinted tears trailing down my face.

“I- Oh, I screwed up so much. My life is ruined.”

I’m was thinking about my life, not the life I had took. I was so selfish. I didn’t deserve love.

She was silently reached over and put a hand on my shoulder.

“I killed him. It was me.”

“What? Killed who?! Nat, you can’t be serious.”

“Martin. I killed him. He- he-“

I again burst into hysterics, and not for him. The stupid, cruel boy who she cared about so much. Who she obsessed over since we were small. Who she loved. Who I killed.

“He was beating up my little sister. She came home crying everyday. I had to fix it.”

“So you killed him?! You know I would do anything for you, Nat, but this is to far.”

She was tearing up, for that stupid, awful boy. Her stupid boyfriend. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve anything.

“I knew I would regret it if I didn’t say it right now.”

“No. This to far. To far. You shouldn’t have done that. It’s not going to stay hidden, and you know it.”

“Are you going to tell someone? He deserved it. It’s me you should care about.”

“Really, Nat? Really? You know what, yes, I am going to tell someone. You’re messed up. I’m sorry, but you can’t get away with this.”

“No. You not telling anyone.”

I moved towards the door.

“Nat? What are you doing?”

My eyes stung. “Your not telling.”

“What?”

I grabbed the gun on the dresser, hidden by a pile of clothes.

“Nat, please. I won’t tell. Please-“

Tears pouring town my face, I pulled the trigger.

On my best friend.

What have I done?