I've been waiting. That doesn't mean I'm ready, though, because when it comes to opening the car door suddenly my fingers become flimsy and uncontrollable. It's like my knuckles have lost their ability to move and my heart has gained that ability to sprint by a hundred times. It's worsened to the point I wouldn't be surprised if someone could hear my heart beat from a mile away.

"Maddie, you have 10 more months of doing this to come. You do realize that, right?" Oakley said behind my shoulder as I stared out at the window.

I close my eyes while I tried to imagine the miserable feeling and situation where I'm sat at the same seat again, everyday for the next 10 months.

I swallow, "I can't do it". I rested my flimsy fingers on the metal of the car handle with Oakley looking down at me.

Immediately, he gets out of the driver seat, circles to the passenger side and opens the car door. "But I can." I flinch as he grabs my shoulders.

He crouches to eye level and pulls me out of the car by my waist, hooking my arm around his neck, all while swiftly closing the door. I know I'm not ready, and I never will be, but he makes it a little bit easier to get through it knowing I have someone I can rely on when I'm feeling unreliable.