WRITING OBSTACLE

Inspired by Lou

Describe the colour of a character's soul.

You do not have to tell the reader who the character is; focus on description and metaphor.

Green Fingers

Poetry

green fingers

plunge deep unabashed into the soil

sink into cool wetness against my tips

or caress dry resistance crumbling

turn towards the light

joy uncurls from its sheath

the green stretch of new growth

petals blossom into exclamation points

green fireworks of fenestrations

Pinch away what’s spent

dry leaves crunched into pockets

held up to brightness

bottom water till heavy and satiated

drink deep unabashed into my soul

green fingers

Comments 2

DjinniRB

2 months ago

Thank you for the thorough read. In my poem the was referring to a stem sheath. Young leaves, twisting and turning, on many tropical plants emerge from pliable stem sheaths. I am so grateful to be read. I totally understand the misunderstanding about sword sheaths. I’m more into philodendrons than swashbucklers.

Robert Weeks

2 months ago

I liked this poem, had a nice flow to it. For feedback, this may be a bit pedantic, but the phrase, uncurls from its sheath, took me out of the story a bit, since sheaths are straight and stiff, you can’t really uncurl from them. I think this speaks to something larger though, and that being, making sure we are purposeful with our metaphor. I think a lot of the time we just take figurative language for granted and focus more on trying to describe something more beautifully and originally, that we forget it still has to work well on both levels.

DjinniRB

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